Re-evaluating Art Therapist-ing

As many people have lately, I've been going through a complete life re-evaluation. For me it wasn't just the pandemonium. I've also been adjusting to my mother having dementia. We put her in a memory care facility and then a month later, the pandemic hit. It didn't even bother me at first- of course the world was falling apart. My whole life was falling apart. It was apropos. For me, so much is wrapped up in my relationship to my mother. One of which was my tendency toward being the [emotional] rescuer. I was always trying to fix her, fix people. I thought it came from a good place. Turns out my need to do that was covering up a LOT. I won't go into all of it here but I have been unwinding from it and touching into my core. In the process, I had to disconnect from seeing clients altogether. I no longer knew how to help anyone, if I even could help anyone.. And then I realized that believing that people even *need* my help no longer felt good to me. Even if they don't believe in their personal power, me trying to fix it is actually agreeing WITH that. And is only perpetuating their disempowerment. (see: victim rescuer triangle for more info) Art therapy is my passion but I have to find a different relationship to it. One that leans into everyone's innate goodness, personal power, creativity, love, propensity to heal, well-being, strength, etc. My journey on this Earth has been deep. And it's interesting how going to the deepest darkest places have finally shown me that the only way to "heal" is to trust that leaning into what feels good - IS GOOD - is the way - that's the only way I've found. Continuing to dig and try to fix things IS NEVER-ENDING. There is something here that is good NOW, even if everything else sucks. And the more I notice that, the more I have a buffer to the things that suck. When I create that orientation to what feels good - difficult emotions arise easier and more effortlessly. And when I drop the resistance to feeling them, they come in and go out like a wave (even if the wave lasts a week). It's my intention to create art therapy sessions that LEAN IN to the body's innate intelligence and allow the art-making to be a magical catalyst for whatever the client's intentions are. I do not have anyone's answers.